OnlineSnow

"Christians, especially ministers, so often think that they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.

Many people are looking for an ear that will listen. They do not find it among Christians, because Christians are talking where they should be listening. But [the one] who can no longer listen to his brother [or sister] will soon be no longer listening to God either... This is the beginning of the death of the spiritual life, and in the end there is nothing left but spiritual chatter and clerical condescension arrayed in pious words."

-Deitrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together

This goes into the category of things that come naturally to me. My problem is, once I do speak up, I'm apparently a conversation killer. I'm not sure why, it just seems to be how things go...which is one of the reasons starting a blog was difficult to me. I guess it will be a good exercise in starting discussions.

James 1:19-20 says, "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."

I've probably taken that verse to its furthest extent at times, but I really have found something important in life - people work out things by talking it out. Very few people tell you about their problems so that you can be a bright, illuminating, brilliant star in their life, they just need to get it out!

This applies to discussions as well, I think, and here is where debating and discussion styles really come in. Think about it next time you are discussing a problem, philosophical question, scriptural topic, or whatever - how much of the discussion did you take up? You see, in my mind, I already know my position on things...what I'm interested in is how other people think. I do want to get time to share my opinions and thoughts, but I think the more valuable thing I can do is to let people get out what they are thinking about so that they are really working through it. Because when you really think about how we learn, it's not usually through an earth shattering argument or a mind blowing debate...it's through working through our own thoughts, evaluating our own experiences, and receiving opinions from people that we know love us and can express themselves in a loving way.

That is my literal conversation killer of the day.